If it were me...

I was going to avoid blogging about this, but it's become such a national story that I couldn't resist weighing in on Matewan High School coach Yogi Kinder's decision to leave a senior running back (whose name I won't use...I don't want to reward this butthole coach's tactics one iota) in a blowout game to set a national rushing record. The player ran for a record 658 yards and 10 touchdowns as Matewan blew out its obviously overmatched opponents 64-0.

Incredibly, it was even worse than it sounded in early reports. Matewan ran a no-huddle offense in the second half. They ordered their punt returners not to return punts, but to let the ball roll...to set up more possible rushing yards for the player.

Kinder demonstrated just about every ugly aspect of human nature. Seriously: check out the quotes in the very good Washington Post story.

There was a similar game last year in my sport of girls' basketball, when another butthole coach, Ed Grezinsky of Murry Bergtraum High in Manhattan, kept a player in to score a record 113 points in a 137-32 victory.

I've officiated horrible blowouts. I remember one that was something like 85-10. It was a JV game in my second year of officiating--the eventual 1A state champions against a rural school that didn't have any kids who could handle the ball. The coach took off the press at halftime (when they were leading by whatever ungodly amount), but the losing team's point guards would look at the ball as they dribbled. They'd get across halfcourt, and their defenders would swat the ball away and run upcourt for an uncontested layup. They must have scored 12 straight points that way. I wanted the winning coach to tell his kids to back off, play a zone, focus on rebounding, or something other than continue the humiliation.

For the most part, I'm not sure there's anything an official can do in such situations. I would have called any contact whatsoever a foul against the winning team on those steals--you bet your butt. But there wasn't any contact, I can't invent fouls. Just because the coach has no integrity doesn't mean I get to lose mine.

But an ESPN columnist, Greg Easterbrook, wrote this last week, and it's making me think:

The National Federation of High Schools 2006 Football Rules Book states, in Section 9, Article 3, "Neither team shall commit any act which, in the opinion of the referee, tends to make a travesty of the game." The head official present was derelict in not stopping the turning of the game into a travesty. Rule 9.3 is the most sweeping in football -- violation can be punished by "any penalty the referee considers equitable," from multiple flags per down to forfeiture of the contest. Yet the officials did nothing, allowing the integrity of the game to be mocked.

There is a similar rule in NFHS basketball.

Under what circumstances would I enforce the "travesty" rule?

I'm trying to imagine options if I'm the referee for the Matewan game. Do I go to butthole Kinder and say: "You will take your player out. Right now"? No, I don't. I'm not into making substitutions.

Do I force him to make his kids return punts? Maybe. If it's obvious that they're doing letting the punt roll for the sole purpose of giving their kid more rushing yards, that's not in the spirit of the game. I might flag an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty...but of course, if it's assessed after the punt (as I assume it would be), that would actually work to the advantage of butthole Kinder, since it would give his kid more rushing yards.

What about the no-huddle? The no-huddle is clearly not a strategic choice here; it's only intended to run up the score. It feels like an obvious "travesty" flag to me. But again, I'm stuck figuring out the rule. Does West Virginia run the clock under the mercy rule? Because if they don't, throwing a flag stops the clock, which works to Matewan's advantage. Backing them up 15 yards also works to Matewan's advantage. But if the clock is running, I suppose the ref could throw the flag and encourage the opponents to decline the penalty. While Butthole Kinder bitches about it (which a man of his limited morality clearly would), let the clock run!

What about a forfeit? No. That's like a nuclear weapon: we don't want to go there. That would punish the kids' deserved victory for the coach being a turd. I'm not comfortable taking away a win for that, or even threatening to (because you know Butthole Kinder would call my bluff).

So, in the end, there are few good options for the refs in such difficult situations, and while I'm glad ESPN's Easterbrook wrote what he did--it made me think--I think he's too hard on the officials. I'm simply can't come up with an effective and fair way for the officials to stop what happened. All of my ideas, which were developed over a couple of days of thinking, are far from perfect, and I doubt I'd be able to come up with them under pressure and on the spot.

Sometimes, I guess, the bad guys win, and we can't stop 'em.